Thwarting Walls
by IzumiGuardian
Summary: Karin has died and gone to the Soul Society where her life has taken a turn for the worst. She is poor, starving and barely managing to suvive, living in one of the poorest districts in Rukongai. When her life is in mortal danger, who is there to lend a helping hand - Captain Hitsugaya of course. HitsuKarin fic :)
1. Chapter 1

**Hi all :) Izumi here with a little HITSUKARIN :) Depending on what feedback I get, I may carry this story on, so it's kind of a test. **

**Reviews would be much appreciated.**

**ENJOY :D**

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**KARIN'S POINT OF VIEW**

All that I remembered when I woke up in district 72 was that I was called Karin. I didn't know anything else, but that's okay, because I made friends quickly. Not because I wanted them, but more because I needed them to survive. Every day in district 72, life is tough.

Really tough.

There is not enough to eat and my group of friends and I haven't had a permanent place to live ever.

And things are just getting worse.

Apparently, the squad 12 captain from the seretei decided that it would be good as an experiment to let hollows free in some of the poorer districts, to observe their behaviour. Rumour has it that he is being trialled by central 46 for his actions. Needless to say, the mortality rates have rocketed, and now soul reapers have been flooding the district trying to find the hollows that have been set free.

"_Karin! We're all out of water, and it's your turn to fetch it!" _Hitomi yelled from across our make-shift shack.

"_Oh, Karin, if you're going out, could you steal some food? I'm starving!" _Takeshi added

"_Urghh, fine .I'll be back in ten."_ I reply, picking up the water jug and heading out towards the river.

The river wasn't that far, only about an hour's walk away, but it was the middle of winter and freezing cold. On top of that, I can't remember the last time that I ate, and I'm wearing a kimono that only just covers my unmentionables.

As I approach the river, I find that it has completely frozen over. _Fan-fucking-tastic! _I know what I have to do. My friends and I can't go another day without water.

I untie my kimono, checking no one else is around, and tread out onto the ice. I walk gingerly into the middle and find a particularly thin bit of ice, and stamp down, hard, with my right foot. I go straight through the ice and am up to my waist in ice cold water. I fill the jug and clamber out, shivering.

I place the jug down and redress. As I turn round, I hear an almighty roar. _Shit, it's a hollow._

I'm about to turn and run for it, but I'm pulled backwards by a huge tail. The water jug slips from my grasp and smashes, as I am dangled ten metres off the ground, upside down. I do the only thing that I know how to do in this situation. Scream.

I screamed as loud as I could, until my lungs were on fire and my throat was raw. Then I heard something I never expected to hear in my life…

_"Reign over the frosted heavens, Hyourinmaru!"_

I could do nothing but stare at him. I stared as memories came flooding back to me. I was not just Karin, but Karin Kurosaki. I had a brother and a twin sister, and this boy who was saving me, his name is Toshiro Hitsugaya. I played football with him in my previous life and he saved me from a hollow like this one. I remember all of my human life.

Hitsugaya swung his sword, cutting the beast's tail and I fell to the ground, landing on the serrated edges of the broken jug. My arms and legs were shredded and a rather large bit of glass had embedded itself in my right lung, but those were the least of my worries at the moment. The hollow's severed tail was about to fall on top of me. I stood up and ran, but something snapped in my foot. A tendon or a muscle, probably, and I fell to the ground once again. I closed my eyes, and vaguely wondered about my family from my previous life, as I prepare for the end.

But it never came. I peeked through my lashes, to find that the boy with snowy white hair was standing over me, the tail in two and the hollow was lying dead on the ground.

"_You can open your eyes now, you're safe."_ He extended a hand to help me up. I accepted, but stood on my injured foot. Piercing pain shot up my foot and through my leg. I gasped and transferred my weight onto my other leg, feeling the bits of glass being pushed further into my foot. It hurt like hell, but there was no way I was going to act weak in front of a captain.

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**TOSHIRO'S POINT OF VIEW**

I was giving orders to my men, trying to find these hollows that the crazy bastard Mayuri set loose in district 72, when I heard screaming. As I flash stepped to where it was coming from, I saw a girl, who looked physically the same age as me, more or less. She was being hung upside down by a giant hollow. I called out my zanpaktou's name, and cut off its tail. My eyes widened in horror as I saw it was heading straight for the girl, so I flash stepped and cut it in two before slashing the hollow's mask, killing him instantly.

I walk over to the girl, and I can't help feeling she looks familiar.

"_You can open your eyes now, you're safe."_ I say, monotonously.

I offer her my hand, and she takes it. As she stands up, she lets out a small gasp before putting her weight on the other foot. She obviously isn't doing too well.

Up close, she looks even more in need. Her kimono is ripped and I can see each one of her chest bones. I can see her hip bones sticking out, even though she is covering them. Her right arm and leg are badly cut, and she is bleeding for what looks like her lung. She is soaked from head to toe and shivering violently.

She opens her mouth to say something but then convulses, doubling over and coughing up blood. She drops to her knees, glass embedding in them, and continues to retch.

I drop to my knees beside her, gently rubbing her back, feeling each of her vertebrae, trying to soothe her. After a few minutes, she stops coughing and sits back on her heels, smiling weakly. She stands up, trying to hide the grimace of pain the passes across her face.

"_Thanks. It looks like I owe you ag-" _Suddenly, her eyes rolled back into her head and her body went slack. I caught her just before her frail body hit the unforgiving ground, cradling her to my chest; I panic when I saw that her kimono was slowly turning deep crimson.

I flash-stepped as fast as I could to the seretei and went straight to the fourth division. I had not been in there a second when Captain Unohana took the fragile girl from me, declaring that she had to operate. As I took a seat outside the operating room, my mind wondered to what she had said

"_Thanks. It looks like I owe you ag-"_

Was she going to say again? And why can I not shake this feeling that I've seen her before?

I kept along this train of thought, my mind reeling with questions, for two hours.

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**Hope you liked it :) **

**Izumi out x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi all :) Thanks so much for the reviews - I really appreciate them. A big thumbs up for all who favourited this story and sorry the update took so long :)**

**ENJOY :)**

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'Hitsugaya-kun' Captain Unohana's voice resounded through the hallway. 'You can go in now.'

I looked up at her, my eyes giving her silent thanks. I stood up, walking fluidly past her, pausing only to give her a small nod. I carried on down the hallway until I reached the room where the girl with the raven hair was. I paused on the threshold, my hand on the door-handle, wondering what I would find beyond the wooden frame. I twisted the sphere of metal in my hand and pushed on the oak slab. The door swung open with a soft creek and I tentively walked inside.

What I found inside was not what I had imagined at all. With the injuries she had sustained, I thought I would have found her deeply unconscious, attached to a ventilator or at least an oxygen mask, covered in bandages and showing little or no sign of waking up any time soon. In reality, she was covered in bandages - yes, but she was very much awake and alive, breathing of her own volition, a look of pure boredom dancing across her delicate features. She was lying on her back, her raven hair sprawled across a pillow, throwing a ball at the ceiling and catching it when it rebounded. For the first time since Momo passed on, I found a ghost of a smile creeping its way across my features. I didn't know what it was, but something about this girl amused me.

'I see you're up.' I stated, suprised that I had to work to keep my voice dead-pan.

'I see you've still got that stick up your arse.' she retorted with such quickness I couldn't help the shocked look spread across my face. She raised her head off the pillow just enough to make eye contact with me. The girl was grinning, looking just a step away from laughter.

'Excuse me?'

'You heard me, grade-schooler.' She promptly burst out laughing, I assumed at the quizzical look I must be wearing. That was the type of thing used to get a reaction out of me - about 300 years ago. Since then, however, I have grown to a height which rivals my lieutenant's. The second thing that struck me as odd was that where she came from, there was absolutely no way to become literate, let alone have a schooling system. Even in some of the most affluent areas outside of the Seritei, a tutor was required to gain a decent education - so how did she know anything about a schooling system?

'Seriously? C'mon Toush, it hasn't been that long. Don't tell me you've forgotten me already.'

Toush? Where on earth did she get off calling me that? Were we close? Well, obviously - she knows my name and has the nerve to call me by a nickname. Even Hinamori wasn't allowed to get away with that once I was a captain - and yet, I don't feel like I should repirmand her at all. It's like it is natural. And what did she mean by 'forgotten me already'? I was beginning to think that coming in here was actually causing more confusion, rather than resolving.

'Fine then, jerk' she said, her tone filled with faux anger, flashing me a toothy grin 'I'll remind you. You saved me from a hollow; we played soccer together. C'mon - I'm practically handing it to you. You helped my team woop some middle-schoolers' asses! It was brilliant.' She smiled at me patiently, waiting for me to put all the pieces together.

I thought back:

_I vaugely remebered a soccer game. We were stationed in the world of the living - it was before the winter war. If memory serves me right, it was Karakura town. There were some elementary school children playing soccer in a park, I was sitting on the roof, observing one of them for some reason. I believe she had unusually high spiritual pressure - especially for a nine year old human._

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_I remember a ball with a black and white pentagonal pattern bouncing towards the road. I stopped it before the inanimate object's fate was sealed. There was that girl again. She came running towards me._

'_You stopped my ball. Thanks' she said, a warm smile spread across her face and for a second I felt my heart stop._

_'Be more careful next time' I said trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. I threw the ball to her and flash stepped off._

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_'Hey, it's you again.'_

_'Yeah...'_

_'I just wanted to thank you for saving my ball.' I turned my head to look at her, and felt a lump rise in my throat. She looks stunning, her amethyst eyes catching the fading orange light, casting an elusive shadow over her features. I looked away and took a second to compose myself._

_'It's fine.'_

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_'You're late.'_

_'How can I be late if I never said I was coming?' I caught sight of her knee - purple and inflamed. Without warning, a mixture of emotions over took me. I felt things that I hadn't felt in a long time. Concern, anger, revenge, caring, worry, affection. Was she in pain? Who did this to her? They would pay._

_'Your hurt?' I surprised even myself. I hadn't meant to voice my concerns to her - no, I couldn't afford to voice my concerns to her. If there was one thing that I had learnt in my long lifetime, it was that, ultimately, you always get hurt in the end._

_'This little scratch - it's nothing!' she replied, flashing me one of her cheeky grins._

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_'Toshiro… You can see that thing too?'_

_'Look, I'll explain later. Right now, you've got to get out of here.'_

_She looked around desperately, and I could almost see the cogs turning in her head – she was thinking about how she could get her friends out of there. _

_'She's selfless' I thought, amazed at her utter disregard for her own personal safety. Here she was, a small, slight ten year old girl, faced with a monster that she knew she had no way of defeating and yet, all she thought about were her friends._

_I felt something: something ugly, possessive, needy – I was jealous. Jealous of the fact that that these seemingly ordinary, and slightly stupid, humans had somehow earned her protection, her care, her devotion. What had they done? Could I do the same?_

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_'Have you got anywhere to say...'_

_I scowled; she chuckled.  
_

_'Do you want to stay at mine?'_

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_'Hey Toush? What'cha doing up here?'_

_'Thinking – you should try it some time.' _

_I instantly regretted the cutting tone in which I had said that. I shouldn't be taking this out on her – she didn't do anything. In fact, she's the only one who knows what really happened and isn't treating me like glass, like I'm going to break given any point. She's the only one who hasn't patronised me with useless words like 'It's not your fault' or 'It couldn't be helped'. I wish they would stop. They don't know it, and they mean well, but every time I hear their words, dripping with sympathy, the guilt that has been slowly eating away at my heart flares up like some angry beast. It makes me want to lash out, to cry, scream, shout, hit, kick, bite and scratch at someone, something. Sometimes I feel too tired to carry on. Sometimes I think it's better if I don't – not just for some sick sense of self-preservation, but for others too. All I do is hurt people, and in return they hurt me. There's only so much one person can take._

_Warmth. I felt a warmth radiating from my side, slowly spreading through me, encasing me, cocooning me, shielding me from this hateful world. I open my eyes and confirm what I had suspected._

_Karin is holding me._

_She is sharing her warmth with me, the captain with a heart of ice. I leant into her, resting my head against her shoulder. Her small hand rubbed my back soothingly, leaving a trail of warmth where it touched. My body curled involuntarily towards her, craving her warmth._

_'It's alright.' Her voice is so soft, and I know she understands. 'Everything will be alright.'_

_That was the final straw. Something cracked under the strain at long last. I had been dreading this moment, where I would have to face my feelings and the overwhelming guilt, loss and anguish at what I had done, but somehow, a small part of me was glad that this was the time when my body decided to do it. _

_That night was the first time I cried for my sister, and most probably the last._

_I cried for her memory, her demise, for her love for a traitor, for her cruel death._

_'I bet she's happy now.' A soft whisper echoes in my ear._

_I look at the girl with my bloodshot eyes. She returns my gaze with care and affection glistening in those lilac hues, and I feel a lump rise in my throat._

_'She's free. You set her free, let her rest in peace. You may not see it, but the rest of us do. I know it was painful, I really do, but it was for the best. I'm so sorry, Toush.'_

_There it went: the final part of my self-control._

_I curled into her even more, my hands clamping down on her sides as I cried, screamed, yelled, told the whole world how it wasn't fair. And all the while, she held me – rubbed her hand across my back, stroked my hair and kept her warm arms around me._

_I cried more than I had ever done, yet, I didn't regret her seeing it. When I was finished I rested against her chest, exhausted. We stayed like this for a few more moments before Karin reached down for one of my hands. She pulled my arm up over her neck, and slipped her other arm round my waist. She stood up, supporting me. I leant against her, only half aware as to what was going on. _

_'C'mon Toush, walk for me.' _

_'Where are we going?' I asked, feeling my consciousness fading._

_'Inside... C'mon, you're dead on your feet.'_

_At this point I wasn't really aware of anything solid. The only constant thing was the gentle hold on my waist – one that, even in semi-consciousness, I was sure wouldn't run away, wouldn't be scared off by the icy shield. For the first time in my life, I felt…_

_ Safe…_

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'Karin…' I whispered.

'About time!' she said, flashing me her signature grin – the one which made my heart stop. I knew we had a lot to sort out, but at this particular moment in time, all I could think was:

_She's here. She came back. She remembers me…_

And right now, that's all I needed...

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**Taa-daa :)**

**Soooo... Whaddaya think? Reviews really appreciated - it's the only way my writing's going to get any better. **

**Anyways, once again, a huge apology that this update took so long :)**

**Izumi out xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello all! Thanks so much for all the reviews :)**

**Especially to ****_Kaien Kimura, MomoPeachFlower, TheAnimeResonance, S.I, Luna25684 and Ziya Hitsugaya _****(awesome name btw****_)._**

**I'm open to requests, as my creative juices need to get going.**

**Anyways, rambling over - ENJOY :) **

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'Karin...'

'About time!' she said, flashing me a cheesy grin. 'What are you? Brain-dead?!'

Though her words were harsh, the sparkle in her eyes told me the she was joking. It was one of the reasons why the younger me had cherished every moment with her. Despite her loud, brash nature, she cared deeply for those around her, and - much unlike myself - wasn't afraid to show it. Even as a ten year old, she hadn't cared that I looked strange. She wasn't scared of me. And when my only family had died, she was the only one that knew exactly what I needed; she was the only one who didn't shower me with false sympathies or condolences.

But, that was the old me.

I've learnt a lot since then. That in the end, I'm just destined to be an outcast. The strange man with weird eyes, funny-coloured hair and a heart of stone.

I hear them - my subordinates; I hear the things they say about me. I hear the hushed whispers that speak to one another when I enter a room. I hear the strain in their voices when the talk to me, their desire to get away from me almost palpable on my skin. And, secretly, it kills me. It tears my heart out when I hear the hateful words they say, the spiteful whispers they mutter.

But, I resigned myself to this lonely existance a long time ago.

'If you're up, you should go back to your home.'

'You haven't changed at all...' her voice was so soft, it reminded me of the night on the roof. My eyes snapped to her face, my breathing halting at the gentle smile that was on her face.

'C'mon Toush. You seriously gonna act like that - I mean, how long have we known eachother? You and I both know the real you, so stop with this couldn't-care-less act.'

_She saw right through me._

'I don't know what you're talking about, Kurosaki.'

_Please don't hate me_

'Yeah, ya do. C'mon, seriously, stop it.'

_Stop, stop before it's too late. You mustn't befriend me again... I'll just hurt you._

'The person you knew is gone. He was merely a boy who allowed his emotions to get in the way.'

_Please... Please accept this. Go, just... go. You are worth so much more than me..._

'The person I knew is still here, Toshiro. The boy who saved me, the boy who cried infront of me, the boy who was selfless enough to save his sister from herself, and carried the burdern of that on his shoulders. You're still you. I can sense it. You're not as poker-faced as you think you are. Now stop being a dickhead, dickhead.'

As she flashed me a grin, I felt my mask slowly cracking.

'Please refrain from calling me that.'

_You are the one person who I must not get close to._

'Jesus, you are a stubborn one. Drop it, Toush...'

_'_No, girl. You are the one who should "drop it".' I tried to keep my voice uncaring and scornful. 'Listen to me, Kurosaki. The boy you knew _is_ gone. He died a long time ago. He is just a figure in your memories.'

_Don't reply, please, dear God, don't reply._

It hurt so much to say those things to you. God knows a small part of my soul died as I spewed out those lies to you. Do you hate me now? Please, hate me... It will be a small price to pay for your safety. Karin, why don't you see, I am cursed? Everyone who so much as looks at me meets a horrid end...

'Oi, Hitsugaya!'

I froze... Never has she used my last name. And I never want to hear it again - not falling from her lips. Slowly, oh so slowly, I look at her. My heart clenched, beating at an irregular and erratic rate - I'm scared at what her reaction is. What look adorns her face? Have I gone too far?

As our eyes met, I almost flinched, so terrified at what emotion would be passing through those lilac hues.

But, what I found swirling in those orbs what not what I had expected at all...

There was not even a hint of annoyance, hurt or anger. Just mild amusement and exasperation - as if she had anticipated what I was going to say.

'Come here, Toush' she said, patting the patch of bed beside her. I stumbled to where her hand had roughly pointed to, perching on the edge of the bed.

'Did you seriously think that that was gonna work? I mean - c'mon! Besides... I'm not your sister. I'm not going to break at any given moment, okay? So chill out for a second, would you?'

'I thought I had managed to get rid of you...' She chuckled good naturedly.

'Naah, I'm in the after life now. You got no chance!' She flashed me her signature smile and I could help the small tug on the corners of my lips - one I was sure she didn't miss.

'Most people would have run a mile if I had said what I did to them.'

'Well, I'm not most people!' I looked at her, slightly incredulous.

'Most people don't take the time to get to know you. If they did, then they'd see you're really just a big softie and not that much of a prick...' I shot her a glare and she just laughed.

'Oh shut up! You know it's true.' she said, poking my ribs.

'Karin. Don't push it.' I growled, elbowing her side.

I instantly regretted it when she gasped, clutching her side.

_Shit_ I thought_ she's barely healed._

'Karin,' I said, concerned, slipping my arm round her 'Karin, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...'

Her shoulders started to shake, and I felt a lump rise in my throat. Had I really just reduced my only friend to tears?

She turned to face me, a rogue grin spreading across her visage - she was laughing.

'PSYCH!' she yelled, inbetween laughs, 'Sorry, what were you saying about not being soft?'

'Should've just left you to that hollow...' I grumbled, trying to supress the sheer relief I had felt when I found she had been joking.

'Yeah, yeah. I know you'd miss me.'

And just like that, we were back to how we were before. I felt as if a hole in my heart was starting to heal, as if the whole world wasn't as cruel, wasn't as hard. I realised living without this girl, this radiant light in my life, was no longer an option. I needed her; and yet, I didn't feel scared, because I knew - as I had known for a long time - that she would never leave me alone. I was truly endebted to her.

And in that moment, that one split second, I knew my life belonged to her. She had given me reason to live, reason to carry on this struggle know as life. My life was her for the taking, and nothing could have made me happier...

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**Taa-daa! So... Rate and Review: You know you want to :) **

**Izumi out x**


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